Recently, I made a social media boo-boo on Facebook, admitted it and moved on. Most everyone was gracious to accept my apologies.
There is one social media faux pas that marketers are making over and over again, with no apology whatsoever. It's the "friend-me-for-the-sole-purpose-of-pitching-me" tactic, and I'm darned tired of it.
Just a couple of days ago I get a Facebook friend request from someone. Before accepting, I click the link on their name to check them out. They seem legit, so I agree to let them join my network.
The next communication was not "Hello, how are you?... I see we have this or that in common..." Nothing in the way of establishing a relationship or beginning a conversation. No, the very next communication was this... (I removed all hyperlinks along with any contact information. Otherwise, the message is rendered exactly as I received it.)
Hello,
I thought I'd send you an update, knowing you too are a very busy person and it's not so easy to be up to date with everything that is going on.
I have been very busy with a project that has mainly to do with Media and Entertainment. It has a free download "The Boomerang Media Station"
With this many doors are opening to Media Artists and Musicians and on the other hand also to Marketiers and Advertisers of Businesses, Organisations etc...
The other big dream that is noe coming true is a Unified System with all ones favourite services within a single application. This is supported by many non profits and great leaders, like Elisabet Sahtouris, Bernard Lietar, Ashok Gangadeen, Paul Wing, Jim Fournier, Jorgen Moller, Nina Meyerhof, Barbara Mark-Hubbard and Michael Cox with an equaly good Management Team.
I won't tell you more about this at the moment, but if you would like to know more on any of these...
Now you will be asking yourself: Didn't she do the Aloe Vera products? Yes I still do and going on for my 15th year now, still enjoying it and it still pays very well.
So that was the quick catch up from me.
Hope to speak to you soon
I realize this person hasn't a clue about what she's doing or who I am. This is nothing more than social media spam. Still, it's an example of the types of pitches people make all the time. Most are a bit more intelligent about it... at least they use spell-check, but the effect is the same.
Listen, marketing people, this ain't the way social media works. Trust me on this. First, you gotta build a relationship. (Heck, at least tell me how nice my picture looks or something. I mean, flatter me. Works every time.) If you're not going to bother to take the time to do that, then leave me alone!
I know, you need to make a sale, generate a lead, get some kind of conversion, etc. I understand that. I live in that world, too. But, social media marketing just does not work in the same way as old school marketing. It's a different set of rules and the participants are the ones who made them.
It's a longer path that must be taken to build a relationship. It takes time, but it must be done. If you're not going to abide by the etiquette, then don't play on this turf. Go back to email spam, or direct mail, or whatever it is you've done in the past to achieve your objectives. Friending someone only to pitch them isn't going to work. All you're going to do is piss people of off. Get it?
If you would like, I'll spend an hour with you helping you understand how things work in this space. Just let me know. In the meantime, keep you pitches to yourself and get to know me instead. Then, and only then, will I take an interest in what you have to offer.
I'm very selective about who I connect with on social sites because I don't care to be thought of as a lead. I do love a free exchange of ideas and a little goofing off, and I very much enjoyed chatting with you this afternoon. :)
Posted by: Sarah Cooper | February 21, 2008 at 06:32 PM
Hi Paul,
I have been really busy working on my blog at http://blahblahblah. Sorry we could catch up sooner. I have been really trying hard to push my product...not on you. Just in general. But if you're interested in my product you can check it out....
SPAM eggs and SPAM, Eggs, SPAM and SPAM.
I hate SPAM.
Posted by: Bob Carney | February 21, 2008 at 06:32 PM
@Sarah - The pleasure was all mine. I enjoyed it very much.
@Bob - Too funny. Exactly my point. I think. :-)
Posted by: Paul Chaney | February 21, 2008 at 06:37 PM
I was listening to a tele-seminar by Seth Godin last week. He said people that try to blend the old selling method with the new will fail.
I must agree. Either we do things all the "old sales way" or the "new media way". They really don't mix.
It's ok to be sold to when you expect it, but to have to be "on guard" on FB is a pain.
One thing is for sure, I've become intimate with the DELETE key! :)
Posted by: Kristal Kraft | February 21, 2008 at 06:59 PM
@Kristal - Yep, just like Seth said, you end up with a "meatball sundae." New wine in old wineskins is how the Bible put it. Or, in this case, the converse is true: Old marketing in new marketing wineskins.
Posted by: Paul Chaney | February 21, 2008 at 10:15 PM
Hi Paul, this post is fairly timely for me as I'm in the process of thinning the herd of online "friends".
Not a day goes by that I don't get a few "friend" invites from peopoe I've never heard of on various social networking sites.
Right now I'm getting ready to launch a new blog/website and seriously re-thinking the whole social networking thing so it doesn't eat up any more of my already limited time.
Our time is more valuable than money because we can make any more of it. Very insightful post BTW!
Posted by: marti garaughty | February 24, 2008 at 01:32 PM
@Marti - I'm not ready to thin out my list of friends, but I can see where that might be needful in order to maintain quality relationships.
Posted by: Paul Chaney | February 25, 2008 at 08:40 AM